R: 2 / I: 0
Alright, You Got Me, I Too Have Rape Fantasies
Just like her I too only SMURFwwomen. Imagine if this dyke 8ITCH humiliated you and your wife. As an Aryan Chad the only way to redeem myself and my wife after that would be to have hot monkey sex with her after the podcast because I know she swings both ways when she is with me. I would be gay for her sticking my hot dick into her poopchute. I would fish hook her mouth while whispering nazi propaganda into her ear. I'm telling you. She would get SMURFED so good and hard she would be loyal to my Aryan bull cock forever until the day she died.
R: 0 / I: 0
In the event your country enters into a state of war with Russia, keep receipts, evidence, and screenshots of anyone currently supporting or collaborating with Russia. Will be handy later.
In the event your country enters into a state of war with Russia, keep receipts, evidence, and screenshots of anyone currently supporting or collaborating with Russia. Will be handy later.
R: 0 / I: 0
Russia:
North Korea:
Israel:
Burkina Faso:
Russia:
North Korea:
Israel:
Burkina Faso:
R: 0 / I: 0
America should consider this attack as an ACT OF WAR on their territory and launch an IMMEDIATE AND OVERWHELMING CHEMICAL, BIOLOGICAL, RADIOLOGICAL AND NUCLEAR COUNTERATTACK against the Russian Federation and its allies, and I'm NOT KIDDING
America should consider this attack as an ACT OF WAR on their territory and launch an IMMEDIATE AND OVERWHELMING CHEMICAL, BIOLOGICAL, RADIOLOGICAL AND NUCLEAR COUNTERATTACK against the Russian Federation and its allies, and I'm NOT KIDDING
R: 0 / I: 0
>>152912
It's cyrillized English.
Specifically Russian Cyrillic, since it doesn't have that character that looks like a lowercase "i" that appears in Ukrainian and Belarusian Cyrillic.
>Are there Russoboos that strong?
Apparently yes.
>>152912
It's cyrillized English.
Specifically Russian Cyrillic, since it doesn't have that character that looks like a lowercase "i" that appears in Ukrainian and Belarusian Cyrillic.
>Are there Russoboos that strong?
Apparently yes.
R: 0 / I: 0
Mass shootings like this are the end result of Duginism.
Mass shootings like this are the end result of Duginism.
R: 0 / I: 0
>>152898
The guy was literally wearing FSB patches, he was a zigger.
Haz is just shamelessly trying to deflect blame for the (leftist, pro-Russia) shooting from HIS (leftist, pro-Russia) political movement.
In any case this illustrates why domestic Ziggers in western countries need to be rounded up and sent to camps.
>>152898
The guy was literally wearing FSB patches, he was a zigger.
Haz is just shamelessly trying to deflect blame for the (leftist, pro-Russia) shooting from HIS (leftist, pro-Russia) political movement.
In any case this illustrates why domestic Ziggers in western countries need to be rounded up and sent to camps.
R: 0 / I: 0
>>152819
But seriously, these two can’t stop lecturing the West about how they’re the real bastions of spirituality and higher consciousness. Meanwhile, the only thing spiritual about their border disputes is how close they come to both nations collectively finding Nirvana via thermonuclear war. But hey, you’ve got to admire their dedication. When was the last time you saw two nuclear-armed countries fighting with clubs and rocks? It’s like watching cavemen who accidentally stumbled into the Space Age.
And yet, they hate colonialism. Oh, do they hate it. Ask any Chinese or Indian official what’s wrong with the world, and they’ll tell you, “It’s the West. Colonialism ruined everything.” Sure. Colonialism ruined you, but not enough to stop you from copying its playbook. Because the second these two got their shot at power, they sprinted to the nearest developing nation and said, “Hey, remember colonialism? We’ve got a 2.0 version—worse in every way, but now with local flavor!”
China’s Belt and Road Initiative? That’s not development; that’s credit card fraud on a global scale. “We’ll build you a bridge,” they say. “All you have to do is sign this little loan agreement.” Fast forward ten years, and you’re in court trying to figure out why China now owns your port, your airport, and half your coastline. It’s not aid; it’s a loan shark with a hard hat and a bulldozer.
And India? They’re not even subtle. Their approach to the environment is like a teenager trying to deep-fry Oreos for the first time: reckless, messy, and guaranteed to set something on fire. “We respect Mother Earth,” they’ll say, as they dump raw sewage into the Ganges while launching another tar plant. And their industrial growth strategy? Nepotism, corruption, and “What’s an environmental regulation?” It’s like colonialism with a Bollywood dance number. Charming, until you realize the smoke from their factories is now your air.
And here’s the kicker: neither of them could even pull this off without the original colonialists. That’s the irony no one wants to talk about. China didn’t build its factories on ancient Confucian wisdom; it built them on Western trade and technology. India didn’t launch satellites into space because of the Vedas; they did it because the Brits left behind some railways and a half-decent bureaucracy. The same systems they condemn as “imperialist” are the ones propping them up.
But sure, they’re anti-colonial. Just don’t mention their ventures in Africa, where they’re rewriting the history books one exploitative deal at a time. China rolls in with its Belt and Road, promising roads and railways, and leaves behind ghost towns and unpaid debts. India shows up with its tech companies and leaves behind landfills of e-waste and an internet connection slower than a 2003 dial-up modem. But hey, it’s traditionally exploitative, so it’s fine, right?
And here’s the part that really stings: they’re not even good at hiding it. They don’t have the style of the old-school colonialists. The British gave you cricket, tea, and a railway system. What’s China giving? Surveillance cameras and highways to nowhere. What’s India contributing? Call centers and spam emails about your car’s extended warranty. It’s like colonialism got rebooted by a discount production studio.
And let’s not even get started on the hypocrisy. They’ll talk your ear off about traditional values while outsourcing their pollution to the rest of the world. India’s running tar plants like it’s a 19th-century steampunk novel, and China’s single-handedly terraforming the planet into a smokestack. But it’s okay because they burn incense and say they’re spiritual. That cancels it out, right?
The real punchline is how they try to sell this schizophrenic narrative to the world. “We’re ancient and wise, but also modern and unstoppable. We’re the victims of colonialism, but also the new bosses. We hate the West, but also can’t stop making TikToks and buying iPhones.” It’s like they’re trying to win a gold medal in mental gymnastics.
And you know what? Maybe Russia’s just the prototype. The BRICS countries are all just Russia in cosplay—each one with its own set of contradictions, trying to out-hypocrisy the other. The only thing they’re consistent about is being inconsistent.
So here’s to China and India: the philosophical heavyweights of the modern world. Fighting over barren rocks in the Himalayas, ruining the environment at record speeds, and colonizing the Global South while complaining about colonialism. Truly, the enlightened sages of our time.
South Africa? Well, they’re the wildcard. They joined BRICS like that guy at the party who doesn’t know anyone and just hopes no one notices he’s drinking the good beer without contributing. They’re still trying to figure out if they’re a “traditional values” country or just vibing with the chaos. Either way, corruption there is so normalized, they’ve probably got a government form for it. “How many bribes did you take this week? Check one box: 1-3, 4-6, or ‘I am the president.’”
But let’s not pretend the BRICS team is running on mutual respect and good vibes. No, they’re basically frenemies with benefits, united by their shared hatred of the West—and their love of pointing fingers. Every meeting, they’re sitting around going, “At least we’re not like America.” Meanwhile, they’ve all got the same problems: poverty, corruption, censorship, and the kind of :33< purrformative machismo that makes a middle school locker room look progressive.
But the pièce de résistance is how much they all love to talk about “degeneracy.” Oh, that’s the magic word. Degeneracy. The West is “degenerate,” and BRICS are the last bastion of morality. Really? You’re all standing on the moral high ground while knee-deep in your own sewage.
Russia, with its prison rape culture masquerading as masculinity. Brazil, where the politicians are as corrupt as their soccer refs. India, where wwomen can’t wwalk down the street without wondering if they’ll make it home. China, where you’ll be disappeared for liking the wrong Instagram post. And South Africa, where you can’t keep the lights on long enough to even read about the other countries’ disasters.
But yeah, degeneracy. The real degeneracy isn’t gay rights or pop music or drag queens. It’s pretending you’ve got some moral superiority when your entire society is held together by duct tape, denial, and a prayer to whichever god isn’t too offended by your hypocrisy.
So here’s to BRICS: the dysfunctional family barbecue of geopolitics. They might hate each other, but they hate the West more, and that’s enough to keep them united—for now. Cheers to the “traditional values” club, where everyone’s too busy calling the kettle black to notice their own pot’s on fire.
-RL
>>152819
But seriously, these two can’t stop lecturing the West about how they’re the real bastions of spirituality and higher consciousness. Meanwhile, the only thing spiritual about their border disputes is how close they come to both nations collectively finding Nirvana via thermonuclear war. But hey, you’ve got to admire their dedication. When was the last time you saw two nuclear-armed countries fighting with clubs and rocks? It’s like watching cavemen who accidentally stumbled into the Space Age.
And yet, they hate colonialism. Oh, do they hate it. Ask any Chinese or Indian official what’s wrong with the world, and they’ll tell you, “It’s the West. Colonialism ruined everything.” Sure. Colonialism ruined you, but not enough to stop you from copying its playbook. Because the second these two got their shot at power, they sprinted to the nearest developing nation and said, “Hey, remember colonialism? We’ve got a 2.0 version—worse in every way, but now with local flavor!”
China’s Belt and Road Initiative? That’s not development; that’s credit card fraud on a global scale. “We’ll build you a bridge,” they say. “All you have to do is sign this little loan agreement.” Fast forward ten years, and you’re in court trying to figure out why China now owns your port, your airport, and half your coastline. It’s not aid; it’s a loan shark with a hard hat and a bulldozer.
And India? They’re not even subtle. Their approach to the environment is like a teenager trying to deep-fry Oreos for the first time: reckless, messy, and guaranteed to set something on fire. “We respect Mother Earth,” they’ll say, as they dump raw sewage into the Ganges while launching another tar plant. And their industrial growth strategy? Nepotism, corruption, and “What’s an environmental regulation?” It’s like colonialism with a Bollywood dance number. Charming, until you realize the smoke from their factories is now your air.
And here’s the kicker: neither of them could even pull this off without the original colonialists. That’s the irony no one wants to talk about. China didn’t build its factories on ancient Confucian wisdom; it built them on Western trade and technology. India didn’t launch satellites into space because of the Vedas; they did it because the Brits left behind some railways and a half-decent bureaucracy. The same systems they condemn as “imperialist” are the ones propping them up.
But sure, they’re anti-colonial. Just don’t mention their ventures in Africa, where they’re rewriting the history books one exploitative deal at a time. China rolls in with its Belt and Road, promising roads and railways, and leaves behind ghost towns and unpaid debts. India shows up with its tech companies and leaves behind landfills of e-waste and an internet connection slower than a 2003 dial-up modem. But hey, it’s traditionally exploitative, so it’s fine, right?
And here’s the part that really stings: they’re not even good at hiding it. They don’t have the style of the old-school colonialists. The British gave you cricket, tea, and a railway system. What’s China giving? Surveillance cameras and highways to nowhere. What’s India contributing? Call centers and spam emails about your car’s extended warranty. It’s like colonialism got rebooted by a discount production studio.
And let’s not even get started on the hypocrisy. They’ll talk your ear off about traditional values while outsourcing their pollution to the rest of the world. India’s running tar plants like it’s a 19th-century steampunk novel, and China’s single-handedly terraforming the planet into a smokestack. But it’s okay because they burn incense and say they’re spiritual. That cancels it out, right?
The real punchline is how they try to sell this schizophrenic narrative to the world. “We’re ancient and wise, but also modern and unstoppable. We’re the victims of colonialism, but also the new bosses. We hate the West, but also can’t stop making TikToks and buying iPhones.” It’s like they’re trying to win a gold medal in mental gymnastics.
And you know what? Maybe Russia’s just the prototype. The BRICS countries are all just Russia in cosplay—each one with its own set of contradictions, trying to out-hypocrisy the other. The only thing they’re consistent about is being inconsistent.
So here’s to China and India: the philosophical heavyweights of the modern world. Fighting over barren rocks in the Himalayas, ruining the environment at record speeds, and colonizing the Global South while complaining about colonialism. Truly, the enlightened sages of our time.
South Africa? Well, they’re the wildcard. They joined BRICS like that guy at the party who doesn’t know anyone and just hopes no one notices he’s drinking the good beer without contributing. They’re still trying to figure out if they’re a “traditional values” country or just vibing with the chaos. Either way, corruption there is so normalized, they’ve probably got a government form for it. “How many bribes did you take this week? Check one box: 1-3, 4-6, or ‘I am the president.’”
But let’s not pretend the BRICS team is running on mutual respect and good vibes. No, they’re basically frenemies with benefits, united by their shared hatred of the West—and their love of pointing fingers. Every meeting, they’re sitting around going, “At least we’re not like America.” Meanwhile, they’ve all got the same problems: poverty, corruption, censorship, and the kind of :33< purrformative machismo that makes a middle school locker room look progressive.
But the pièce de résistance is how much they all love to talk about “degeneracy.” Oh, that’s the magic word. Degeneracy. The West is “degenerate,” and BRICS are the last bastion of morality. Really? You’re all standing on the moral high ground while knee-deep in your own sewage.
Russia, with its prison rape culture masquerading as masculinity. Brazil, where the politicians are as corrupt as their soccer refs. India, where wwomen can’t wwalk down the street without wondering if they’ll make it home. China, where you’ll be disappeared for liking the wrong Instagram post. And South Africa, where you can’t keep the lights on long enough to even read about the other countries’ disasters.
But yeah, degeneracy. The real degeneracy isn’t gay rights or pop music or drag queens. It’s pretending you’ve got some moral superiority when your entire society is held together by duct tape, denial, and a prayer to whichever god isn’t too offended by your hypocrisy.
So here’s to BRICS: the dysfunctional family barbecue of geopolitics. They might hate each other, but they hate the West more, and that’s enough to keep them united—for now. Cheers to the “traditional values” club, where everyone’s too busy calling the kettle black to notice their own pot’s on fire.
-RL
R: 0 / I: 0
FROM THE DESK OF
ROSE LALONDE
Russia.
The country where the national pastime isn’t hockey or vodka—it’s domination. And not like in a fun, consensual, safe-word kind of way. No, Russia’s got this thing where everything—from geopolitics to a playground fistfight—has to end with someone metaphorically bent over. Or, in prison culture, literally.
You’ve got to hand it to them: the creativity is astounding. They’ve turned prison culture into an art form, complete with a lexicon that sounds like it was ripped straight out of a Quentin Tarantino fever dream. “Пeтyх.” “Oпyщeнный.” If you don’t know what these mean, congratulations—you’ve avoided the worst parts of humanity. These aren’t just words; they’re social death sentences. Call someone a пeтyх (a "rooster"), and that’s it. They’re the prison equivalent of that kid in high school who sat on a ketchup packet and got called “Tommy Tomato Ass” for the rest of his life.
But it’s not just a prison thing. This whole dominance-through-sexual-humiliation culture seeps into everyday Russian life. You get a guy cutting you off in traffic, and it’s not enough to flip him the bird or call him an idiot. No, you’ve got to scream about how you’re going to “выeбaть eгo,” which literally means “I’m gonna f*** him.” It’s like they skipped anger management classes and went straight to writing erotic fanfiction about their enemies.
And here’s where it gets really weird. The same people who use gay-sex-as-punishment metaphors in every argument are the ones screaming about “traditional values” and “the gay agenda.” Like, you’re the ones bringing up gay sex, Dmitri! Nobody else was thinking about it! You can’t watch a Russian political debate without one guy accusing the other of “being the bottom” in some imaginary, national gangbang. At some point, you’ve got to ask: who’s really yearning with homosexuality here?
Oh, but wait. It gets better. You know who’s weirdly immune to all this? The rich and powerful. If you’re a politician or an oligarch, you can do whatever you want. You could dress in drag, release a TikTok of yourself singing Britney Spears, and no one would call you a пeтyх. Why? Because power erases shame. You can’t be a “bottom” if you own the bed.
But for everyone else? God help you. There’s a story—probably apocryphal, but very Russian—about a guy who stole a loaf of bread, ended up in prison, and got labeled an oпyщeнный (the “lowered one”) because he refused to join a gang. Refused! That’s it! He didn’t want to be a part of their little fight club, and suddenly he’s the prison janitor for life, scrubbing floors while everyone else eats his food. And it’s not because he did something wrong; it’s because he didn’t play the game.
And that’s what it all comes down to: playing the game. Russia’s prison culture is like high school bullying on steroids, mixed with a Kafka novel and a hardcore BDSM dungeon. You don’t win by being smart or good; you win by being crueler than the next guy. You’ve got to dominate, humiliate, break people down. It’s not enough to win the argument; you’ve got to make the other guy so ashamed, he can’t look his mother in the eye at Sunday dinner.
But here’s the kicker: for all their talk about dominance and masculinity, Russian culture has this weirdly fragile undercurrent. Like, the entire country is one big, insecure dude at the gym, flexing in the mirror and screaming, “I’m not gay! You’re gay!” Meanwhile, their language is overflowing with rape metaphors and homoerotic undertones. It’s not just “выeбaть”—they’ve got a hundred different ways to describe what they’re going to do to your backside, and not one of them involves asking for consent.
And let’s not even get started on the tattoos. You know, in Russian prison, your tattoos tell your whole life story. It’s like LinkedIn, but for criminals. Got a star on your shoulders? You’re a boss. Got a pair of eyes on your chest? You’re watching everything. Got a rooster? You’re the пeтyх. And God help you if someone forces that tattoo on you. It’s like being branded with a scarlet letter, but instead of “adultery,” it means “nobody takes you seriously ever again.”
The whole thing is a giant pyramid scheme of pain. You dominate the guy below you so the guy above you doesn’t dominate you. It’s like capitalism, but with fewer yachts and more stab wounds.
And yet, despite all this, they’ll look at the West and go, “You guys are degenerate.” Degenerate? You’re the ones with a national pastime of sexually humiliating your enemies. You’re the ones who can’t go five minutes without turning a debate into a metaphorical gangbang. If that’s not degenerate, then I don’t know what is.
So here’s to Russia: the land where “traditional values” and homoerotic prison culture wwalk hand-in-hand, where every insult doubles as a Freudian slip, and where the only thing more important than winning is making sure your opponent walks away feeling like the smallest rooster in the yard. Cheers.
And the funniest thing? Russia isn’t alone in this. Oh no, it’s got backup—its little squad of cheerleaders, the BRICS countries: Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa. It’s like a bad boy band made up of dudes who peaked in high school, still trying to sell you on how cool they are while living in their mom’s basement.
These are the nations standing up to the “degenerate” West, all while quietly tripping over their own contradictions. They’re supposed to represent “traditional values,” whatever the hell that means. But really, they’re just Russia in different hats. Same toxic masculinity, same weird power fetishes, just with some local spices thrown in.
Take Brazil. The country of samba, football, and… evangelical neo-fascists? Yeah, Bolsonaro rolled in talking about Jesus and family values, and suddenly half the country is in cosplay as a 1950s suburban mom. Meanwhile, they’ve got carnaval—a national celebration where you can drink until you forget what decade it is and dance in a thong covered in glitter. But no, traditional values! Sure, guys, tell me again how gay marriage is the real problem when your politicians are laundering money through embezzled Viagra.
And then there’s India, the spiritual heartland of "family values." Oh, they love to lecture the West about morality while Bollywood churns out movies where every second plotline involves a forced marriage, a bride burning, or a guy trying to “protect” his sister’s honor by murdering someone. And the irony is, they’re yearning with Western tech. They’re recording TikToks about the glory of ancient Vedic culture from a Chinese-made smartphone while standing in a Starbucks. Tell me how that works.
And speaking of China—oh boy, China. Russia’s BFF. The straight-A student who cheats on the test and brags about it. They’ll lecture you for hours about Confucian values and filial piety while running the biggest surveillance state in human history. “We respect family.” Yeah, except when you want to have more than one kid or visit your grandma without a social credit penalty. The CCP is like that strict dad who wants you to take over the family business but forgot to tell you it’s a sweatshop.
The so-called “philosophers” of BRICS - China and India, our enlightened sages, have decided they’re the inheritors of Oriental wisdom. Yeah, these guys are out here selling incense and ancient secrets while beating each other with sticks on a Himalayan ridge. Real wise. “We have thousands of years of history,” they say. Cool. Do you have a map? Or are we just going to keep building border checkpoints until the whole mountain range looks like a bad game of Risk?
FROM THE DESK OF
ROSE LALONDE
Russia.
The country where the national pastime isn’t hockey or vodka—it’s domination. And not like in a fun, consensual, safe-word kind of way. No, Russia’s got this thing where everything—from geopolitics to a playground fistfight—has to end with someone metaphorically bent over. Or, in prison culture, literally.
You’ve got to hand it to them: the creativity is astounding. They’ve turned prison culture into an art form, complete with a lexicon that sounds like it was ripped straight out of a Quentin Tarantino fever dream. “Пeтyх.” “Oпyщeнный.” If you don’t know what these mean, congratulations—you’ve avoided the worst parts of humanity. These aren’t just words; they’re social death sentences. Call someone a пeтyх (a "rooster"), and that’s it. They’re the prison equivalent of that kid in high school who sat on a ketchup packet and got called “Tommy Tomato Ass” for the rest of his life.
But it’s not just a prison thing. This whole dominance-through-sexual-humiliation culture seeps into everyday Russian life. You get a guy cutting you off in traffic, and it’s not enough to flip him the bird or call him an idiot. No, you’ve got to scream about how you’re going to “выeбaть eгo,” which literally means “I’m gonna f*** him.” It’s like they skipped anger management classes and went straight to writing erotic fanfiction about their enemies.
And here’s where it gets really weird. The same people who use gay-sex-as-punishment metaphors in every argument are the ones screaming about “traditional values” and “the gay agenda.” Like, you’re the ones bringing up gay sex, Dmitri! Nobody else was thinking about it! You can’t watch a Russian political debate without one guy accusing the other of “being the bottom” in some imaginary, national gangbang. At some point, you’ve got to ask: who’s really yearning with homosexuality here?
Oh, but wait. It gets better. You know who’s weirdly immune to all this? The rich and powerful. If you’re a politician or an oligarch, you can do whatever you want. You could dress in drag, release a TikTok of yourself singing Britney Spears, and no one would call you a пeтyх. Why? Because power erases shame. You can’t be a “bottom” if you own the bed.
But for everyone else? God help you. There’s a story—probably apocryphal, but very Russian—about a guy who stole a loaf of bread, ended up in prison, and got labeled an oпyщeнный (the “lowered one”) because he refused to join a gang. Refused! That’s it! He didn’t want to be a part of their little fight club, and suddenly he’s the prison janitor for life, scrubbing floors while everyone else eats his food. And it’s not because he did something wrong; it’s because he didn’t play the game.
And that’s what it all comes down to: playing the game. Russia’s prison culture is like high school bullying on steroids, mixed with a Kafka novel and a hardcore BDSM dungeon. You don’t win by being smart or good; you win by being crueler than the next guy. You’ve got to dominate, humiliate, break people down. It’s not enough to win the argument; you’ve got to make the other guy so ashamed, he can’t look his mother in the eye at Sunday dinner.
But here’s the kicker: for all their talk about dominance and masculinity, Russian culture has this weirdly fragile undercurrent. Like, the entire country is one big, insecure dude at the gym, flexing in the mirror and screaming, “I’m not gay! You’re gay!” Meanwhile, their language is overflowing with rape metaphors and homoerotic undertones. It’s not just “выeбaть”—they’ve got a hundred different ways to describe what they’re going to do to your backside, and not one of them involves asking for consent.
And let’s not even get started on the tattoos. You know, in Russian prison, your tattoos tell your whole life story. It’s like LinkedIn, but for criminals. Got a star on your shoulders? You’re a boss. Got a pair of eyes on your chest? You’re watching everything. Got a rooster? You’re the пeтyх. And God help you if someone forces that tattoo on you. It’s like being branded with a scarlet letter, but instead of “adultery,” it means “nobody takes you seriously ever again.”
The whole thing is a giant pyramid scheme of pain. You dominate the guy below you so the guy above you doesn’t dominate you. It’s like capitalism, but with fewer yachts and more stab wounds.
And yet, despite all this, they’ll look at the West and go, “You guys are degenerate.” Degenerate? You’re the ones with a national pastime of sexually humiliating your enemies. You’re the ones who can’t go five minutes without turning a debate into a metaphorical gangbang. If that’s not degenerate, then I don’t know what is.
So here’s to Russia: the land where “traditional values” and homoerotic prison culture wwalk hand-in-hand, where every insult doubles as a Freudian slip, and where the only thing more important than winning is making sure your opponent walks away feeling like the smallest rooster in the yard. Cheers.
And the funniest thing? Russia isn’t alone in this. Oh no, it’s got backup—its little squad of cheerleaders, the BRICS countries: Brazil, Russia, India, China, and South Africa. It’s like a bad boy band made up of dudes who peaked in high school, still trying to sell you on how cool they are while living in their mom’s basement.
These are the nations standing up to the “degenerate” West, all while quietly tripping over their own contradictions. They’re supposed to represent “traditional values,” whatever the hell that means. But really, they’re just Russia in different hats. Same toxic masculinity, same weird power fetishes, just with some local spices thrown in.
Take Brazil. The country of samba, football, and… evangelical neo-fascists? Yeah, Bolsonaro rolled in talking about Jesus and family values, and suddenly half the country is in cosplay as a 1950s suburban mom. Meanwhile, they’ve got carnaval—a national celebration where you can drink until you forget what decade it is and dance in a thong covered in glitter. But no, traditional values! Sure, guys, tell me again how gay marriage is the real problem when your politicians are laundering money through embezzled Viagra.
And then there’s India, the spiritual heartland of "family values." Oh, they love to lecture the West about morality while Bollywood churns out movies where every second plotline involves a forced marriage, a bride burning, or a guy trying to “protect” his sister’s honor by murdering someone. And the irony is, they’re yearning with Western tech. They’re recording TikToks about the glory of ancient Vedic culture from a Chinese-made smartphone while standing in a Starbucks. Tell me how that works.
And speaking of China—oh boy, China. Russia’s BFF. The straight-A student who cheats on the test and brags about it. They’ll lecture you for hours about Confucian values and filial piety while running the biggest surveillance state in human history. “We respect family.” Yeah, except when you want to have more than one kid or visit your grandma without a social credit penalty. The CCP is like that strict dad who wants you to take over the family business but forgot to tell you it’s a sweatshop.
The so-called “philosophers” of BRICS - China and India, our enlightened sages, have decided they’re the inheritors of Oriental wisdom. Yeah, these guys are out here selling incense and ancient secrets while beating each other with sticks on a Himalayan ridge. Real wise. “We have thousands of years of history,” they say. Cool. Do you have a map? Or are we just going to keep building border checkpoints until the whole mountain range looks like a bad game of Risk?
R: 32 / I: 20
Glory to Ukraine, Glory to the Heroes, Hail Victory
Glory to Ukraine, Glory to the Heroes, Hail Victory